Im Busy Getting Stronger

Believe it or not I felt for you stronger than the one of seven years... but that was almost a year ago and now Im busy... Im busy getting stronger, Im busy making my dreams come true, Im busy deciding what I want out of this life, Im busy writing, creating new friendships, and finding adventure, Im too busy falling in love with the man that deserved it in the first place. When I saw your number come up on my phone I was hesitant to answer because I was afraid of what the sound of your voice could do to the life I created without you. I had wanted you a part of my life and my dreams for so long, even after you made it clear my ambition and goals were a simple joke in your mind. You pretended it was just a simple hello, a "I had a dream about you so I figured I would call and see what you're doing". I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell him that he has ruined me enough and to just leave me alone. { but in the end you only ruined yourself } In an instant I was ready for a nervous break down, all because of a boy. What does he want me to say? He moved on from the convoluted relationship we built for two years. "come over" he says. "Im sorry but I cannot do that" I said "But I want to show you my new place, I want to show you everything I've done" he pleads.

Where was he when I wanted to show him everything that I had done, where was he when I was breaking down and feeling the stinging pain of losing a one way street love. I was sitting night after night missing him, wondering what he's doing if he was thinking of me, wondering too if we could have worked it out. But that was before I met the man of my dreams.

"Im busy I have to go" I say. But what he doesn't know nor does he deserve to know is Im getting by perfectly without him. All my dreams were not giggles at anyone expense. I am better off without him and he's the one now calling at his weak moments; not me. I am building up my career, moving to an amazing place and making myself a little more stronger, Im not crying over lost loves or friendships, going to an amazing college where I need to be. I know who I am, all he knows is drinking and breaking any girls heart that comes in contact with him. Im busy, you're an absolute last thought in my days. I don't cry about you anymore, I don't wish or hope we could have worked it out as friends or a relationship. Im a better person because you are no longer in my life.



He will never change and my heart will never be the same because of him, but now I know thats not a bad thing. Ill be okay because on my weakest day I have my other half, my best friend, my future husband who smiles at my dreams, at my progress, he doesn't drag my heart around like you did.

Im busy getting stronger.

Permanent... Or So You Thought

So foolish me at age 19 thought that I was going to stay with him forever, forever enough to get a tattoo for him. I wasn't so idiotic that I got his name, but I got a quote with the heart shape of the ring he got me the day he promised forever. Its been two years since we broke up and well I have officially got rid of all his clothes ( I wont say what I did with them, but it was clever and amusing to say the least) and anything that could potentially bring up any thought of him... except this god damn tattoo. I have been searching for the perfect thing to get this "nasty" thing covered up. One artist I have been fascinated with for years and years now is Banksy. He is a British artist that would graffiti only at night, no one knew who this man was. He would sketch political commentary that would leave anyone and everyone speechless. He didn't do this for the fame or for money, he was just a simple man who had a talent of art and an outspoken opinion on the world. When I really sat and thought about what I wanted to have become permanent on my wrist I knew it had to be perfect and from this man because that was it after that. I will get something for me and no one else this time. I cannot decide yet so I decided to post the ones I have considered. Let me know what you think.


PS. NEVER EVER EVER EVER get a tattoo for anyone else except yourself, it makes me sick every time I look down at my wrist. All these thoughts of pain, confusion, loss of faith are all trapped in my mind and once this disappears I will finally get out. 

So You Put It Down On Paper

She swore to herself that one day she would make a difference, that she would help someone see through their own eyes what she saw. He came into her life at the most unpredictable time but it was never desultory. She gave him faith and hope that what he was looking at when he saw her blue eyes was true love, lasting love, something for the first time he could not quite explain. He had a wall that everyone quickly determined was infrangible, but against all odds that did not phase her. She broke through the unbreakable, she didn't get bits and pieces of him, he gave her everything. He remained cautious when he gave her his care, but he had finally let someone in. They learned through each other.. one of the things he would take from this relationship was the impact of writing. He would write to her, never had he put a pen to paper for love before. She read his letter with amazement, he was just as gifted as he claimed her to be. Her dream was to fall in love and in return give him the love he had been searching for and deserved. But what she was more content with was that she had passed on her love for writing to the person she loved the most and he found a new side to himself. The difference was made and they became closer and closer through words. No one was getting in between this love, and nothing would be too strong to end it. It was a moment when words and actions became concerted, it was when she realized she had fell in love for the first time and he finally had someone to share his everything with.

she used to lie awake at night, tormented as she worked on her book, asking herself, “Who do you think you are, trying to write a first novel at your age?” But she wrote it. And she held up her National Book Award

It'll Speak For Itself

Her dreams were so enormous, but could they perhaps be out of reach? She began to fall into this lapse that  these big dreams she made would remain that way; a reverie. It was admired that she had all these ambitions but were they realistic? Could they happen despite her life circumstances? She had been in this standstill for years now, and every time her hands were right there, able to reach out she would fall once again. There was one person though that forever impacted her life... it wasn't some renowned writer, some man who swept her off her feet, or the greatest friend in the world. The person that impacted her most was 4'3, tiny glasses, wavy brown hair, the cutest little smile that could light up anyones world. Her name is Mackenzie Rose and she changed my life forever. I met her when she was in first grade and she stole my heart forever. The smallest things made her happy and there was never once a complaint from her little mouth. But the thing that I held onto most about her was that she was my biggest fan. I was her everyday hero and she would call me everyday to tell me about her day and could not wait to hear about mine. She loved reading and writing and told me that one day she would be a journalist just like me. The way she compiled a story matched her personality; simply remarkable. 


-- As I had last posted, I had the case of writers block. I have endured this inability to perform before, but nothing quite like this. Then I stumbled upon something that gave me my integrity and passion back. As I finished reading this little letter I began to remember I can do this, my writing will be published one day, I will make it to the highest point in my career and I will change lives.


"Danielle,
you know you can do anything so do anything you want to. you are the best girl in the whole world! you are the best, you are the best, you are the best! thank you for everything you do for me.
Love Mackenzie"

just four short sentences but they changed my day and the way I have been thinking for the past few months. I have a little girl who thinks the world of me. To her I am capable of anything and everything. I need to make these dreams come true not only for myself but for Mackenzie too, she has had enough let downs in her life and I refuse to be another.

Reflecting on 2010

The more and more I look back on this past year I realize all the changes and things I had done. I finally figured out where I truly belong one day {Dallas, Texas}. Single finally didn't seem like the end of the world but the start of actually living. I made new and amazing friends that I know I will have for a lifetime. I finally found my style of clothing, I branched out and realized that there were more stores than just Express and Abercrombie. I found new lovers and let go of others. I made my words come alive and started a blog, or two or actually five at one point...but now Always Choose Paris has all of my heart and words. I redecorated my bedroom finally. I got rid of the trashy leopard and hot pink look {so tacky!} and transformed it into a parisian get away. My taste in music has become much more broad. I made lasting family memories in Canada. I went to Nantucket and fell in love with the island, hopefully I will be living there for the summer. I turned 21 and realized more than ever who truly cares about me and those who don't. Theres more to life than just Weymouth Massachusetts. Don't waste energy or your breath of those who have hurt you too many times. I finally became the person I know I was meant to be and did the things that made me happy. If I wanted something, I was more than capable of getting it. My independence is everything to me, I do not need a man or any sort of person to be in control of all my happiness. I played model for a little while to help me break out of my shell. Many lessons have been learned, relationships were lost and gained, dreams had come true, and I finally found the one love I have been searching for, the love for myself. I finally am growing up and realized I am so much better than all of those people who have tried to put me down one way or another. And I found the person I hope one day will ask me to spend the rest of my life with him

playing model

New Friends

spend the rest of my life with

impossible, becoming possible

Dallas stole my heart

the ones who will never leave me

the island of dreams

Bonjour 2011

This year has been... extreme. I have endured unplanned struggles and have learned a lot about myself. Now that I am on my way to the right track I really took a minute to think of what I wanted for 2011. 2010 was all about figuring out who I was by myself, and make an attempt to let the past go. It has been almost a year exactly since I made that decision and now I can finally say I have accomplished every resolution I made for myself. This year I am concentrating more on my health and mind. I am constantly stressed out and never quite content. This year I will learn how to actually cook, not just simple things but learn dishes ( I am extremely nervous but my boyfriend is excited because he gets to eat the food). I will get back on track with a healthy diet which I hope will benefit my skin problems ( yes at age 21 I finally get the acne that everyone else got in middle school, jokes on me I guess?) and my health. I swear I have spent more money on doctor visits and medicines than anything else. Yoga is a must at least 3 times a week, no exceptions. Now that I found myself I get to concentrate on falling in love with my better half and enjoy the amazing friends I have in my life.

This year is about adventure, being able to love others again, maturing into an adult, and good health.

To start this year off I will be buying a few cook books, making some meal plans, learning to trust my relationships as genuine and real, and traveling to New York City to explore a possible new city I will call home and get my book out to publishers. I want to capture moments now, so I will start saving for a new nikon camera Wish me luck!

Who I was, Who I am, Who I'm Not, and Who I Want To Be

I have come across thousands of people who just don't get everything about me. Im aware of my complexity but no one has been able to quite handle, love, and understand everything about me except one person; Andrew.

He understands who I was, knows who I am, who Im not and the person I strive every day to be. To my astonishment he loves,understands and can handle every single part. It is a huge achievement when one self can accomplish this, but it is another thing when you find someone to love the you, you love, it makes the relationship that much stronger. Every single day I see how far I've come and I'm extremely proud of the progress.

Who I was: My own worst enemy, I could not get out of my own way if my life depended on it, unfortunately my reputation and what others thought of me did depend on that though.

Who I am: A girl who would wear her cowboy boots everyday if she could. Drinks way too much coffee for her own bodies good, would be lost if she could not make a "list" for everything she has to do. A girl who finds absolute happiness in writing and expressing herself, whether or not people agree. A girl who has dreams and goals she will one day achieve. An amazing friend and family member to those who have shown they deserve it. Has trust issues but working to fix it slowly. Different and wouldn't have it any other way. A girl trying to pay her way through college hoping to one day make it to Emerson or NYU and make it big.

Who I'm Not: A girl who will continue to reach in her past for answers. Someone who will allow others opinions to effect her life and ambitions. A girl who will back down from her beliefs because someone else has a problem with it

Who I want to be: An amazing wife and mother. A woman who has a series published and created into a motion picture. A sportscaster for the NHL. Traveled everywhere her heart desired. A woman who was able to say "My success is the best revenge" on several occasions. Someone who made a difference while here on earth.

This is the me I love and I finally found someone who is not ashamed of my past, who is proud of my present, and reassuring of my future. I found my biggest fan, my other half and rock.

I'd love to hear what you, the readers would say to these questions 

Im Sorry

I decided today I really hate those two words, " I'm Sorry". I have been hearing it way too often and from the same people. Perhaps Im being a raging cynic but why do people continue to do things that ultimately they need to apologize for. When do we as the person they are hurting decide that enoughs enough and the sorry's have lost their meaning. I used to have so much light in my life and innocence, now Im consumed with paranoia and a cold heart. I am waiting for those people who keep saying sorry to make a move that will in the end ruin me forever. One person in particular I have given up on... I think I have been hearing sorry from him since he has been in my life. Suddenly I came to the realization that he doesn't mean it. He isn't sorry for destroying my life, my dreams, my innocence because he walked away clean and free of a girl who once loved him (trust me I don't love you anymore) and then theres the sorry that I've been hearing since this summer. Its little things here and there but at the end of the day Im too damaged to take even the slightest bit of hurt. I thought he understood that part of me, but I was severely mistaken. I just keep giving all these people chance after chance just to be let down, just to hear "Im sorry" and I genuinely don't believe people anymore. Every time I hear those familiar and trivial words they continue to lose their meaning. 'The question, how does a girl who jumps into a rabbit hole plumenting into chaos come out unchanged.. the answer- she doesn't. She lost all sense of sincerity and honesty because she was lied to, too many times. So for now the emptiness she is feeling appears much more safe than putting herself out there. Because perhaps if she continues to reach out to people that are only going to say sorry to her she will become just like her outlook on faith...nothing.

Happy Friend Day!

So there is a day to celebrate our moms, our dad's and our significant other...but I decided to do my own little spin on things. My best friend and I decided to celebrate our one year of being friends. I know we are absolute dorks and some ( more so men) of you are making fun of me right now in your mind. But regardless of the judgement I think it was pretty awesome we celebrated it. The official friendship day for the world is the first Sunday in August but we decided our 'anniversary' would make more sense. When we made this plan I knew EXACTLY what I was going to get her. I knew she deserved something that would make her speechless and jump up and down. As you have read before in an earlier post called "Everyone Needs a Wife" Brooke and I are extremely close. I would be lost without her and everyday I become more grateful for the friendship we share. So enough with the emotion, lets get down to business...the present. So there is one thing that I had plenty of that Brooke was lacking; Tiffanys. Every girl deserves at least one blue box in their lives and my best friend not having one just would not do. So my boyfriend and I ventured into Boston and I bought her this cute Tiffanys necklace that I knew she would love. When I gave it to her the jumping was extreme and the tears started coming. I was so happy I could make my best friend happy. Even though we show our appreciation and love for each other everyday through our friendship, it still was nice to give her something I knew she wanted and deserved. So happy friend day to one of my biggest fans and supporters through everything I do in life. I would be absolutely lost without you, as you know and I cannot wait for the years to come that will be filled with traveling and making lasting memories and ridiculous stories.

Letter Number Three

This letter is for my first love and my first everything, you are the biggest part of my life... so far.

I met you when I was a very little girl. I think it was love at first sight for me but I was honestly way too young to even comprehend such a monumental concept. You are the person that every girl wants and fears at the same time. I wanted that special first love and I wanted it to be shared. I got what I wanted, we were each others first loves and for a very long time each others only loves. I feared you because there was a possibility I could lose you. We were each others first everything and that alone held a bond for us years down the road. You were my first real boyfriend and not until I was much older did I realize what that would entail exactly. Our first few years were just simple innocents, but we were madly in love with each other. A sudden break up happened your senior year of high school and needless to say I was a little more than heart broken. I did not react in the way I had hoped but I rebelled and became vengeful. For so long you were pushing me away, my existence, my love, our friendship. For a short time we became strangers. Seeing you in the halls was your basic breakup torture and when you'd purposely walk by my locker after last period everyday and shut my locker on me while I was getting my things, I didn't find it flirtatious or cute. I found out you weren't going to Villanova and chose the one school I was hoping you wouldn't go to. I knew at that time we were nothing and I thought we were over for good but like always you swooped in at the right time and stole my heart again. I got to have you in my life for all the important things.. my birthdays, my graduation and my prom. Did I wish more than anything I was there for all of yours too; of course. Us getting back together was probably one of the biggest things to talk about in our town, but you and I couldn't have been more happier. If it's too good to be true then it probably is. You immediately pulled us back to why we broke up in the first place and my happiness and comfort was ripped from me. It was fight after fight for a while and you had to prove yourself. That was where the ring came in, my forever ring. We were sitting outside your house, you had two bouquets of flowers and a tiffany's ring box. You pretty much proposed to me at this point but I wasn't the slightest bit scared or freaked out because you were the only love I knew and I truly thought we were going to get married. I put that ring on with every hope and expectation that this was it, we finally found our way back to each other and nothing was getting in the way this time. Well I was wrong, jealousy and paranoia got in our way, which led to actual people getting in the way. Neither one of us was innocent in this matter and if I could change it or take all the things I did wrong back, I would in a heart beat. We were so happy and so good when we were with each other but the minute we had distance it was a whole different relationship. You began to start taking me and my care for granted, becoming all too comfortable with me sticking around all the time. But I will say that when we were good, I was the happiest I had ever been. Looking back on old pictures my smile was just entirely different. I know Im still getting over everything that happened because you were my best friend and my other half for a very long time. But you did take my heart and a huge part of me. I have my heart back but I still am looking for those pieces. We have tried the closure thing way too many times and every time we just came up with the " I'll see you again some day". Too much has happened in between now that the whole " we'll never be over thing" has kind of lost its meaning. You have let go completely and I'm almost on my way there, Im just still holding onto the friendship we had. Saying good bye to you before you left for school this year was extremely hard and I knew deep down it would probably be the last time I see you and be friends. Now I know if I see you it isn't because we wanted it. But you showed me more than you'll ever know and there are days where I wish I could erase you and then other days I wish we could be the old us who were best friends. Erasing you though would mean my life would be completely different and with how my life is right now, I wouldn't change it for the world. I guess being in your life was much harder than not being in your life... ignorance is bliss and first loves can really take a hold on you.

Letter Number Two

This letter is to the boy who made me fall in love with him with no intentions of ever falling back,

When I met you I had no intentions of even knowing you. Then you asked me out to dinner and I was taken back. What I knew of you was that taking a girl on a date was not normal so I was somewhat intrigued by this. We went on our first date and I had so much fun. We never stopped talking and I can still remember every detail. We began to hang out regularly and eventually one thing led to another. I was attracted to the opportunities I had with you because you were older and had your own place. Whenever something went wrong with my boyfriend at the time and we'd break up I'd go straight for you. You were my escape from everything. You definitely were my growing up turning point. You took me to my first bar, showed me what boston night life really was, and reminded me that I lost my innocence. Slowly but surely I was falling for you. I always saw the better in you, that even yourself couldn't see. I have never been able to explain my feelings really because I never was comfortable with them. You had a wall up that no one could break down. I thought that I was slowly taking one brick out at a time but to my surprise I think I was just adding more stone and cement to the wall. I understood you and I still understand you to this day. I took time and made extreme efforts to be your friend and listen to you talk about your past present and future. The time and dedication I gave you has never been matched, I think you took up all my energy in the end. Our "relationship" started to progress and we were with each other a lot more than usual. The day I fell in love with you I can still remember. We were taking a walk on the beach and you told me your entire life story and told me you consider me a best friend. I loved that you were always there when I needed you and how protective you were about me. Whether you choose to admit it or not I know you did care about me because you were never one to put much effort into anything and little do others know how close we really were. When we had to go through one of the hardest things I didn't expect you to be there for me, but you were by my side until I assured you I was okay. I never had to work at someone letting me in and showing me feelings but with you I had to and that taught me a lot. You said something that always has stayed in my mind... " I've never left but you always keep running away and then back to me when things don't go the way you planned...so remember I never left you." I didn't realize I was doing that nor did I think you noticed. Thats when I really thought I broke down some of your wall. We never made it to a title and thats because in the end you didn't want me. Everyone saw how I looked at you and the way I felt about you but still that had no effect on you what so ever. You did whatever with who ever and never thought of me once, never considered how hurt I would be. When I said I love you to your face in the car that night with tears pouring down my face I meant it. It was the scariest thing to say that to a person I knew deep down wouldn't even feel an ounce of that for me. But you played your cards right and I fell head over heels in love with you. I always hoped I would be different for you, how crazy is that? You used to tell me I'd be a star one day, I even kept that text saved to this day just incase I want another reminder that I can accomplish my big dream. But now you laugh at my accomplishments and dreams, you say how you can't take anything I do seriously. Maybe thats your insecurity talking because you have seen how as hard as it was and has been, I still cut you off and haven't tried running back. You did bring back every insecurity I had and I was petrified at the fact of ever giving my heart to another person again. How we ended wasn't on the best note but it had to happen. I'm sorry you thought I only told you what I thought you wanted to hear but everything I said to you was the truth and genuine. I don't regret the lessons I learned from you but I do regret falling in love with you because in the end it was only thrown right back in my face. You did the one thing you knew would hurt me and you admitted to it too. Will I ever know how you felt about me? Probably not. But I do know that you cant be with someone for 2 years and not feel anything for them, you especially just wouldn't have stuck around. So take care of yourself and know that I truly tried everything I could but somehow it just wasn't enough for you.

My Closure.

"The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I'd write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you'd gone on with your life and I didn't want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn't want to ever forget that."

It was hard to turn my back on something that I felt so strongly about, but I didn't have a choice... that part is over and there's nothing that could be done to change it. So I will keep the letters and I will keep the memories in a special place. I'll try and move on with my life as best as possible without him, making the most of all this sadness.

xoxo

Always Choose Paris

-"little"

Friend or Enemy?

Usually the question is can a girl be friends with her ex boyfriend, but I think the question is ' should a girl be friends with her ex boyfriend'

For me it really depends on the circumstances of it all. Each relationship had a different beginning, middle and ending. For some we had been best friends for years before we started dating and others we were strangers and then instantly a couple.

Each day I have a different answer for this. Some times I can set everything aside and be his friend and then other days all my thoughts are consumed with how the hell did it turn into this? I try and fix things but I have to keep reminding myself that this is permanently broken.. that those wounds are still open and I just simply cannot get over it. The cracks will always be there and just going back would make those walls and my somewhat found happiness crumble. Will I always care about him and love him? Sure, maybe, I don't know. But I do know that when I think about us I become upset but not in a way where I want to curl up in a ball and hide in my bed forever...instead I want to drive to him and try and understand because after 2 years of being apart I just simply don't understand. There has never been a closure between us so I guess until that is found there cannot be a friendship. How I plan on dealing with this is running. I will keep running from reminders and him until I can't remember him.

Taken from Flickr

So unless you are 100% over him, the relationship you once had, and the life you used to live you CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT be friends with him. Its a self form of torture. You're never going to be able to move on completely if he is involved in your life. You're just going to drive yourself crazy with thoughts of, why isn't he trying to talk to me? Has he found someone else? Does he think about me? Does he still love me?... All these things realistically should not matter but we're human so they do. I thought I could handle him being in my life again because I always said I'd rather have him in it than not but I find myself going backwards and not moving on. I have so much I want to say to him but in the end it will never change anything. Whats done is done and right now my heart is saying enemy.

Finding Myself

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend a retreat with hundreds of other women. I had no clue what to expect going into it, but I was open to the idea. I did not expect to become a totally different person coming out of it. As you have all been reading, I have been on this emotional roller coaster. One day I feel like the luckiest girl in the world and others I feel as though I am being drag down to the bottomless sea by the anchor, also known as my past. I knew I needed something to help me swim up to the surface, but this weekend wasn't what I thought would get me there; thankfully I was wrong.

Through this retreat I got to learn a few things about life in general. I learned that I need to suck it up; plain and simple. Life isn't as bad as I can make it seem in my mind. I need to understand that something has happened and suck it up. So what if I get rejected, so what if someone says something about me behind my back, so what if I spill a hot, i mean hot cup of coffee on my new white blouse... SUCK IT UP.

As the night was progressing I got to hear other women's stories about struggle and how they overcame it. I was truly inspired. One thing that really stuck to me was when one woman said this... " What other people say about me behind my back is not my business, I cannot be bothered" I have never heard something so simple speak to me the way those words did. I'm young and I still care what people say about me, maybe not what people think, but the words definitely stick... but I can't be bothered anymore, it just is not worth it.

Being around negative people is never, I mean NEVER a good thing. It only brings you down and ruins your mentality. This is where my change comes in. My boyfriend always says that I put other people's happiness before mine and I need to change that. What I didn't realize is what he truly meant until I went to this retreat.... I like being around happy people so thats why i was always like that but now i just need to learn to balance ( balance is key) I used to believe that it was ok if I was negative but the minute someone else was, I would rid myself of them because I just "couldn't surround myself with that". I was a huge part of the reason I was so miserable. I was half of the negative energy and I didn't even realize it, but my boyfriend did. But being that amazing guy he is, he knew I'd figure it out eventually and when I finally understood it, he'd be there for a shoulder to lean on.

In personalities there is a thing called "D.I.S.C" I will get into this entire thing on another time... but I realized I am 75% D and 25% I. I am a CONTROL FREAK. I am dominantly focused. I love details and ask good questions. I over analyze everything, not joking.. I would over analyze my cereal in the morning if I thought it was needed. I have a high ego and a fear of being taken advantage of. I am constantly frustrated if something does no go my way. My eyes cannot keep a secret. As a 'D' and an 'I' the things I need to learn are that I need people. Relaxation is not a crime. some controls are needed, especially self control. Focus on finishing well, be a team player, quit being so stubborn. It's ok to trust others, as long as you realize not everyone will let you down. I need to learn better time management, to be humble and avoid pride.

To overcome a challenge you first need to take a look in the mirror. My past is small, and I can still see it once in a while, like a rear view mirror, but the future and the happiness is in front of me in the windshield. I know that its in the past and I've learned a lot from it. No one needs to know what happened then because it doesn't matter anymore. The bad days are still days and that is what I need to be grateful for. I was given the ability to wake up the next morning, to start with a positive attitude and set goals, that I will now follow through. Instead of giving everything little bits of love, I will prioritize... TIME MANAGEMENT.

I truly figured out a lot about myself and my life this past weekend and I could not be happier or more excited to remain on this path. So many times I would get off track, but not this time... I won't allow it.

One in a Million

Last night I got to attend the last preseason game at home for the Bruins. I decided that being the amazing daughter I am{joking sort of}, I'd take my dad and mom. I never get to spend alone time with them so I was very excited. Thanks to my lovely friend who is a Bruins player I got to take them last minute. I think my dad has a new love for the Bruins and #19 has a new fan. Since I was a little girl my dad has always made sure I was a true Bruins fan. He took me to games from when I was a year old until I was about 5 or 6. Then my sister came along so there was no more princess time for me. But I remained a fan and I thought I would pay the favor back to my dad. We had so much fun going out to dinner in the North End before and I'm really happy I brought my parents. With such a hectic in and out, here and there lifestyle I forgot how nice it was to have just family time.

"The only thing permanent in life is family."

My Morning Playlist

I think it's extremely important to have a positive morning to have a good day. I absolutely hate waking up tired having a hectic morning, it just makes for a bad day. So heres my morning playlist.

- Up Up and Away, Kid Cudi

- Life of A Superstar, Akon ft David Guetta

- It Happens, Sugarland

- Rock 'N' Roll, Eric Hutchinson

- The World Should Revolve Around Me, Little Jackie

-Wagon Wheel, Old Crow Medicine Show

- Amazing, Josh Kelley

-Bright Lights, Matchbox 20

-Galway Girl, Mundy

- Don't Think I Can't Love You, Jake Owens

- American Honey, Lady Antebellum

-Dog Days Are Over, Florence and the Machine

-Perfect Day, Lady Antebellum

-Home is Where the Heart Is, Lady Antebellum

hope you enjoy!

American Soldier

I wanted to take today to write about American Soldiers and one in particular. Today has become a day of remembrance for the United States of our patriotism and our strength. We experienced a tragedy nine years ago that would forever change our lives. There is not one person who cannot tell you what they were doing the day the planes crashed into the Twin Towers.

I was in my sixth grade class, Mrs McMorrow. We were in reading class and she left the room for a moment. When she came back she was crying. Most of us didn't think much of it because she was a little too emotional for her own good. School went on as usual. I get into my usual carpool for soccer practice and I get a phone call from my mom. "Danielle a terrorist attack has happened in NewYork and I would really like it if you just come home for today." "Mom what are you talking about, what is a terrorist and how did they attack us??" I was only 11 years old, I had no idea what was going on. The only thing that came to my mind was war and that my cousin Kenny was in the Army. I may have been young but I was not naive. I knew what was to come next. My cousin was going to Iraq and my life, just like everyone else's' would forever be changed.

The United States may be absolute morons sometimes, but how we all came together after that day was incredible. It showed that in the end we do still stand for what we believe in, freedom and union. Every car had flags, everyone had a shirt with the firemen putting up the american flag, whom probably at the time didn't even realize what their actions would stand for. They were just putting the flag up on instinct.

I have always had one absolute hero in my life. I am extremely close with my entire family, but this man has always been different to me. I never wanted to be with anyone except my cousin Kenny. He is the big brother I never had. I will always be his little one and he will forever be my rock. Even when he wasn't a United States hero, he was still mine. Teachers always have you write who your hero is when you're younger, I chose Kenny every time. I just think he is an amazing individual. He is my protector and he was America's too. I feel bad for the guy I end up marrying because it isn't my dad he has to worry about, it's Kenny.

Finding out that Kenny was being deployed to Iraq immediately after 9/11 happened was one of the scariest and depressing feelings I have ever experienced. My hero, the one person I knew would be there for me no matter what was going away and may not come back. He proved time and time again that he is a hero and I could never thank him enough for going to Iraq and protecting not only me but everyone. We all have a hero out there and mine truly showed he is worthy of his title. He came back safe and sound, but never quite the same. He married his high school sweetheart and has a beautiful baby girl, and one on the way.

American Soldiers don't do this for the hype or for the publicity, they do it because it's their belief. They stand ready to protect us and today we really need to stop and think while we worry about our "problems" they are putting their lives on the line so we can sleep peacefully at night. Thank you to my cousin Kenny and to my best friend Rachel for serving us, you are my hero's. It takes a special and certain kind of person to be able to be a soldier.

Never forgotten 9/11/01

American Soldier by Toby Keith