Permanent... Or So You Thought

So foolish me at age 19 thought that I was going to stay with him forever, forever enough to get a tattoo for him. I wasn't so idiotic that I got his name, but I got a quote with the heart shape of the ring he got me the day he promised forever. Its been two years since we broke up and well I have officially got rid of all his clothes ( I wont say what I did with them, but it was clever and amusing to say the least) and anything that could potentially bring up any thought of him... except this god damn tattoo. I have been searching for the perfect thing to get this "nasty" thing covered up. One artist I have been fascinated with for years and years now is Banksy. He is a British artist that would graffiti only at night, no one knew who this man was. He would sketch political commentary that would leave anyone and everyone speechless. He didn't do this for the fame or for money, he was just a simple man who had a talent of art and an outspoken opinion on the world. When I really sat and thought about what I wanted to have become permanent on my wrist I knew it had to be perfect and from this man because that was it after that. I will get something for me and no one else this time. I cannot decide yet so I decided to post the ones I have considered. Let me know what you think.


PS. NEVER EVER EVER EVER get a tattoo for anyone else except yourself, it makes me sick every time I look down at my wrist. All these thoughts of pain, confusion, loss of faith are all trapped in my mind and once this disappears I will finally get out. 

Reflecting on 2010

The more and more I look back on this past year I realize all the changes and things I had done. I finally figured out where I truly belong one day {Dallas, Texas}. Single finally didn't seem like the end of the world but the start of actually living. I made new and amazing friends that I know I will have for a lifetime. I finally found my style of clothing, I branched out and realized that there were more stores than just Express and Abercrombie. I found new lovers and let go of others. I made my words come alive and started a blog, or two or actually five at one point...but now Always Choose Paris has all of my heart and words. I redecorated my bedroom finally. I got rid of the trashy leopard and hot pink look {so tacky!} and transformed it into a parisian get away. My taste in music has become much more broad. I made lasting family memories in Canada. I went to Nantucket and fell in love with the island, hopefully I will be living there for the summer. I turned 21 and realized more than ever who truly cares about me and those who don't. Theres more to life than just Weymouth Massachusetts. Don't waste energy or your breath of those who have hurt you too many times. I finally became the person I know I was meant to be and did the things that made me happy. If I wanted something, I was more than capable of getting it. My independence is everything to me, I do not need a man or any sort of person to be in control of all my happiness. I played model for a little while to help me break out of my shell. Many lessons have been learned, relationships were lost and gained, dreams had come true, and I finally found the one love I have been searching for, the love for myself. I finally am growing up and realized I am so much better than all of those people who have tried to put me down one way or another. And I found the person I hope one day will ask me to spend the rest of my life with him

playing model

New Friends

spend the rest of my life with

impossible, becoming possible

Dallas stole my heart

the ones who will never leave me

the island of dreams

Falling Apart

Maybe the impossible was just that... impossible. Since she was a little girl she had dreamt of the perfect relationship. Once her innocence had come to terms with reality she finally understood, that glass slipper didn't exist, sorry little one. After all of the struggles and let downs she had faith in just one thing, buried deep down with the rest of her feelings that one day she would find the perfect love, the one who made all those other what she likes to call now, assholes, away.

" If  I am going to endure the same struggles I do now than whats the point? Why bother loving again if I feel like I am back tracking."

"Because it isn't always going to be the way you pictured it, you said he was different from all the rest and he is. Sometimes that difference is the reason why you fell in love and sometimes its going to drive you crazy and you just won't understand what is going through his head or why he just did what he did. But when it comes down to it, he proved he is different from the rest. He did what you have always wanted, make you say good bye to all of your past didn't he?"

" Yes but I have never felt like I was good enough for him, since the beginning...because of the beginning. How could we ever come back from this?"

" That's not in your hands anymore."

So the old saying.. 'take the good with the bad'... exactly how much do we practice this preach? Where do we draw the line to keep our own sanity and dignity? Exactly how far do we let ourselves go and not become overwhelmed with the possibility that maybe this perfection we thought we had was just a falicy. How do we keep ourselved together, hold onto the confidence and security we have left if there is a person present who may destroy it all.