Monday, August 23, 2010


I had to get rid of all evidence that he even existed. I grabbed every picture we took, every letter he wrote, threw his t-shirts and hockey jacket in a bag--drove to his house and left it on his front steps. And that was it..for the most part. Here and there we made some communication, but never to the point where I saw him face to face. That relationship changed me though forever. I had no idea what I was getting into when I started out. I always said how funny it was that we ended up together, and that's only because we should of never even met. Worlds worst relationship goes to him and I. If I saw him now I wouldn't even recognize him and I am extremely thankful for that. I don't want to know the person he was become. For a while I tried to make amends, but he would just tear my life apart and degrade me. One day I woke up and realized I needed to completely forget about him. To me... he died. I read a very helpful book about break ups. One tactic they recommended was called " He-tox"... I giggled at the name, but envied it's reality. I had to go through ex boyfriend detox. He didn't make me better, he caused so much anguish and depression. I look back on it now and realize where he is and where I am. I grew up like he said I needed to, I took responsibility and became independent. I thank god for the day he cheated on me and I got to walk in on it. It made me so much stronger in that part of my life. Of course it hurt like hell at first, but I saw what was really going on. I needed to rid of myself completely before I could realize the joke he has become.

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