Monday, October 4, 2010

I Need More Than Glue and Tape

For the most part I like to believe I'm pretty put together. I have three jobs, I go to college {and pay for it every month myself} I have a nice car, amazing friends and family, and I am part of the newspaper and honor seminar. But one thing that I always do is run. I can be so interested in someone and the minute they even show the slightest bit of interest back I run. I tell myself I don't want it anymore, that I'm better off without another person. Why do I insist on running from anything good? It's pretty evident that he won't hurt me but still I insist on talking myself out of any guy that could make me happy in my life. I am aware I am doing this but every day I try and fight the thoughts and don't act on them. I truly don't know why I do this though. I fixed my life by patching it up with glue and tape. I am still at the point where I don't know what will make me fall apart again. These fixes were only temporary but for now they are getting me through the days. You'd think though that I learned not to run when I know it's a good thing...


Elle Sees said...

it's a defense mechanism! you're trying to prevent getting hurt.

this free bird said...

i was totally this girl when i was in college. hang in there!! i bet you are a super driven person who wants to get everything you can out of life and not fail :) it gets better and you will learn to overcome the fear. it just takes time.