Enchanted and His Girlfriend

"This is me praying that this was the very first page, not where the story line ends"

When I met him I knew he was something different. I noticed the way he could light up the room instantly. I never used to believe in "first sight", but now I do. I knew the minute I met him I wanted something, I wasn't exactly sure as to what but I knew to hold on as tight as I could. Slowly we were becoming closer and closer and I couldn't stop my feelings.

I used to be the first one to bash relationships. "They are a waste of time, a death sentence, and way too much effort for something that most likely won't last" --that was my argument and trust me I have countless examples of experience to back that all up. He opened my eyes up to something I have never felt before.

For the first time ever I was refusing to run from this. In the back of my mind I kept saying 'run as fast as you can' but I kept pushing it away. I knew I had something good and I would be a fool to give it up. So I stayed, I let myself get closer to him, I let myself fall for him. Since I was a little girl I have always dreamt of the perfect relationship, that one guy to sweep me off my feet in a way I couldn't even grasp. After heartbreak upon heartbreaks I gave up that fantasy. I became cynical and single with no interest in changing. But there he was with his amazing smile and dark eyes, just like that I was gone. I was laughing again, I was enjoying the love songs and the thought of finding that certain someone. He turned my entire world upside down.

"The way you smile around him, it's different than any smile we've seen before"

I finally found what I have been searching for since I knew of fairy tale endings. The funniest part of this all is I found him when I wasn't looking for him. We were talking about this earlier and he said some pretty valid things. Him and I both were not in search of a relationship or even had a desire of having one. We both were content with the life we had, we refused to settle for anything less than we wanted. The perfect relationship to me is what I have with him. I have loved, been in love, and lusted a lot of people but with him everything is just entirely different. When I say he is absolutely perfect to me I'm not exaggerating; I adore him.

Past relationships consisted of two types of people with only 1 exception.

Either I was dating a total asshole or I found those guys that would say "I love you" in 1 week and ask for my hand in marriage the next. I have no idea where I found the second bunch but they came around more often than I preferred. This is where he is so different. He is never mean to me, but he doesn't baby me either. He puts me in my place when needed and I know I will always get an honest answer from him, whether I like it or not. He isn't so nice that I wonder where his balls are and get so sick and bored and leave him. He cares about me, shows affection, and has proved that he will always protect me. I never knew the feeling of security when it came to males until I met him.

So when I swore to myself that I would never get into a relationship where getting hurt was an option; I didn't lie. He is so genuine, he tells me all the time how lucky he thinks he is to have found me and how happy I make him, I don't see him ever hurting me. I am so lucky to call him my boyfriend. I waved goodbye to my past relationships and I looked forward to the pages upon pages of happy endings. I shut that book of misery for good this time. No longer cynical and no longer single, and I would never change that for anything. I said before I needed an adventure and I think this is it. I found someone who will take me to an entirely new place, help me discover things I never thought I would. I found someone who is flawless and something that is effortless.

"This night is sparkling, don't you let it go"

Pity Party

I truly feel bad for this girl, I do. She has made up this huge storybook like love in her mind that truly was just never there. She has convinced herself that he actually thinks something more for her than a desperate and easy girl. He knew how obsessed she was with him, he knew what he had to say to get her in his bed... and he did just that. He was trying to cope and move on from a relationship that ended horribly and once was the most important thing in the world to him. There is a reason for that ring you know...How awful it must be to think you actually were important to a boy that will only have that place in his heart for one girl, and that isn't you. There are plenty of reasons why he has only had one girlfriend and you were never one of them. All her thoughts, all love songs remind her of a boy that felt nothing for her. I would hate to be that girl who was so blind to being used physically and abused emotionally. She can try as hard as she wants but there will never be a comparison. I don't know how many times I have heard from him... "I will find you again someday and it will be everything you had dreamed of, I promise". That poor silly pathetic girl wasted all her time and feelings on a one way street "first love" that will never see her as more than an easy in.

Dear Big

I don't think I will ever find a more perfect song to describe how I felt a year ago other than this song.

Dear John Taylor Swift

Dream Come True Birthday

Happy Birthday To Me!

In Revolution Rock Bar

Amanda.Me.Megan.Brooke

My best friends

I cannot believe I am 21 years old. Time has definitely flown by and I am finding myself concerned with the future more than ever. As you've read before things have and keep on changing for me, for the good of course. I have found out who my true friends are, what I want and deserve out of life and the importance of this all. But for this one night I didn't have to worry. It was spent with my closest friends through out all the years dancing and taking pictures and a bottle of Stoli Citron {not my first choice, Im a whiskey girl} among other drinks. The people who attended my party proved a lot to me. The one thing that really made my birthday special was my best friend from when I was in Kindergarden until about 5th grade came to my party. We hadn't seen each other in about 10 years but it felt like only a few months... we picked up right where we left off. I was so happy I got to spend such an important and special birthday with the one person I spent my entire childhood with and knows a whole part of my life others don't. Looking at the pictures I realized I had a best friend from each part of my life there. One from childhood, another from high school and the other from college. I consider myself one lucky girl to be able to share my birthday with all three of them. Over all I am so happy and pleased with my birthday. I came away with a fun night, a boyfriend {yes I am in just as much shock too, but this story is for another time!} I got the Coach Watch from my wish list, and memories... Yes I can remember most of my 21st and that was very important to me.

Birthday Suit & Co

BCBGeneration Dress

Carrie Bradshaw's Hair and Studded Accessories For Inspiration

Essie's 'Putty' Nail Polish

Every girl should and wants to look absolutely amazing on her birthday. I made sure there were no room for errors. The list consisted of the perfect dress, manicure and pedicure, hair professionally done, and makeup done by MaryKay cosmetics of course! I felt like a princess at my 21st birthday party. After dragging my boyfriend around boston, a $55.00 parking ticket and two seconds away from being towed I found my dress at BCBG. It was originally $150.00 but I caught it on sale for just $50.00 { don't worry I was jumping up and down when I saw the price tag}. I went to my favorite nail salon, Nails and Spa for the best manicure and pedicure. All together only $45.00 and I am not the first to say that their customer service is priceless. I picked a color completely out of my norm; Muddy Grey by Essie. Like many others I love Essie Nail Polish. I think they are the best brand out there and I love that it is sold in Target. Curls upon curls for my hair by my lovely hairdresser Sarah at Jolans Hair Salon. I have been going to this salon since I was 6 years old. I told them I wanted Carrie Bradshaw curls and that's what I got. I could not have been more pleased with how my Birthday Outfit and such came out. I hope you like it too :)

My Letter to You

Now we never have to wonder if we missed out on each other,

I could not be happier to have you in my life. For the first time ever I know what it's like to be treated with respect and care. I knew you were different the minute I met you. I'm so happy I didn't let you run when you were afraid and I know you're not going to let me run now. We didn't have the easiest start but we saw through everything and knew what was in front of us. Every day I spend with you I fall harder. You understand me, you understand I have a past I am not proud of but have a future that is bright. Everyday you remind me that the sky is the limit and I see my better self in your eyes. I don't know what took you so long to find me but I would go through my past a million times if it still meant you were there in the end. I have never smiled or laughed so much in my life. You are everything I have ever wanted and so much more. You have shown me that I am what you want and no one can come between this. We're absolutely perfect for each other. You may be the only one that can handle me and that alone says a lot. You don't try and change me, you like me for me. Everyday you shower me with compliments and tell me how proud you are of my accomplishments. Everyone in my life adores you and knows you're the best thing to happen to me. You make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. I adore your smile, your integrity, your laugh, your morals, your sense of humor. For the first time ever I have someone who's incredible and cares about me just as much as I care for them.

My wall is down, my guard is over and done with. You are what I needed to finally let everything from the past go. My new life is filled with possibilities and with you by my side I'll be unstoppable. You showed me the person I am supposed to be is the girl I am when Im with you. The past in a distant memory and you're all that's in focus

Love Me

Back and Forth

Surprised? No

Angry? Yes

You put all your feelings aside and tried to focus on the good of that person. You finally were able to forgive them, just to be smacked in the face again with reality. Reality is they will never be the person you created in your mind. No matter how hard you try and see that "good", it will never be there because its wishful thinking. They know you like the back of their hand so when they want you to believe that you were someone they loved and cared about no matter what, you believed them all because they say the right thing. You swallowed your pride, took every dirty look, every snide remark from everyone just to forgive them. Looking back on it now I don't really understand why he deserved that forgiveness. He never really begged for it like he should have. He threw away a friendship, a first love and it was too late when he figured out what he'd done. But now that I have realized he doesn't belong in this part of my life I need to say goodbye. I forgave myself for my actions but perhaps after clarity and realization how I could of been treated and should have been treated, it's time to say goodbye completely and forget his existence.

I am no longer bitter or sad to see this person leave my life; I'm indifferent. He doesn't deserve anything from me and he can pretend all he wants that I am important to him but this time I wont fall for it.