Who I was, Who I am, Who I'm Not, and Who I Want To Be

I have come across thousands of people who just don't get everything about me. Im aware of my complexity but no one has been able to quite handle, love, and understand everything about me except one person; Andrew.

He understands who I was, knows who I am, who Im not and the person I strive every day to be. To my astonishment he loves,understands and can handle every single part. It is a huge achievement when one self can accomplish this, but it is another thing when you find someone to love the you, you love, it makes the relationship that much stronger. Every single day I see how far I've come and I'm extremely proud of the progress.

Who I was: My own worst enemy, I could not get out of my own way if my life depended on it, unfortunately my reputation and what others thought of me did depend on that though.

Who I am: A girl who would wear her cowboy boots everyday if she could. Drinks way too much coffee for her own bodies good, would be lost if she could not make a "list" for everything she has to do. A girl who finds absolute happiness in writing and expressing herself, whether or not people agree. A girl who has dreams and goals she will one day achieve. An amazing friend and family member to those who have shown they deserve it. Has trust issues but working to fix it slowly. Different and wouldn't have it any other way. A girl trying to pay her way through college hoping to one day make it to Emerson or NYU and make it big.

Who I'm Not: A girl who will continue to reach in her past for answers. Someone who will allow others opinions to effect her life and ambitions. A girl who will back down from her beliefs because someone else has a problem with it

Who I want to be: An amazing wife and mother. A woman who has a series published and created into a motion picture. A sportscaster for the NHL. Traveled everywhere her heart desired. A woman who was able to say "My success is the best revenge" on several occasions. Someone who made a difference while here on earth.

This is the me I love and I finally found someone who is not ashamed of my past, who is proud of my present, and reassuring of my future. I found my biggest fan, my other half and rock.

I'd love to hear what you, the readers would say to these questions 

What Do I Want?

People would ask me what do I want, and the answer was simple; happiness.

I wanted to put all the sadness behind me and find pure happiness. But after searching well over a year for this destination I named 'happiness' I realized it's impossible. Happiness is not a place, it is a feeling. The achievement of over powering of joy and satisfaction led me to believe that happiness was the final outcome of the completion, not the fact that I tried for something and succeeded. I now realize that accomplishing simple goals/tasks and furthering my dreams everyday is my happiness. Sometimes the happiness will come and sometimes it will inevitably go, but that is no excuse to stop trying. When one accepts that happiness is a feeling not a destination, joie de vivre is found.

Borrowed by:Weheartit

I've Never Heard Silence Quite This Loud

Just when the book was closed, when all the despair and anguish had finally been laid to rest I hear the one thing I have waited for years to hear...

"Danielle, I'm sorry for leaving you and moving and not listening to you the summer we broke up. Im sorry for all the times you've needed me and I wasn't there because of my selfishness. Im sorry for not always being the best friend i should've been. Whether we were broken up or not I shouldn't have just left you alone"

They are right you know when they say history repeats itself. It's like clock work, when theres silence with no justification he puts in effort. But this apology is so much different than the others, it has significance. He never once has apologized for moving and leaving me all alone to deal with the devastation. I lost my old life that day he called me and said he has moved 200 miles away and he isn't going to come back. When I say I fought for him all day and night, cried and begged for him to come home and work on us there is no exaggeration. Every inch of my body was limb because of depression. I got up every morning only to convince him to come back. Clearly nothing worked and after a while I just didn't have the motivation, or tears, or energy to fight so I gave up. His sorry is a year too late. There is a small and I exaggerate on the small part of me that wishes I could accept his apology but him and I can never get it right when it comes to friends or loves, its too blurry and we cross lines that in the end we hurt each other and the outside world.

As I read this I told myself to remember this moment and remember the feeling and leave it at that. I've moved onto a much better and hopeful future now. Even with this bright future though I know that when the summer comes along, fleeing to a island is the best decision for me. The silence between us from here on out will be difficult but necessary.... But I did finally hear that "sorry" that actually had meaning, that for me is more than enough. The silence brought him realization for what he lost and I think I finally found my closure... something I have been searching for for so long. I am no longer waiting for anything from him, that was it... an apology. Ironic?

Im Sorry

I decided today I really hate those two words, " I'm Sorry". I have been hearing it way too often and from the same people. Perhaps Im being a raging cynic but why do people continue to do things that ultimately they need to apologize for. When do we as the person they are hurting decide that enoughs enough and the sorry's have lost their meaning. I used to have so much light in my life and innocence, now Im consumed with paranoia and a cold heart. I am waiting for those people who keep saying sorry to make a move that will in the end ruin me forever. One person in particular I have given up on... I think I have been hearing sorry from him since he has been in my life. Suddenly I came to the realization that he doesn't mean it. He isn't sorry for destroying my life, my dreams, my innocence because he walked away clean and free of a girl who once loved him (trust me I don't love you anymore) and then theres the sorry that I've been hearing since this summer. Its little things here and there but at the end of the day Im too damaged to take even the slightest bit of hurt. I thought he understood that part of me, but I was severely mistaken. I just keep giving all these people chance after chance just to be let down, just to hear "Im sorry" and I genuinely don't believe people anymore. Every time I hear those familiar and trivial words they continue to lose their meaning. 'The question, how does a girl who jumps into a rabbit hole plumenting into chaos come out unchanged.. the answer- she doesn't. She lost all sense of sincerity and honesty because she was lied to, too many times. So for now the emptiness she is feeling appears much more safe than putting herself out there. Because perhaps if she continues to reach out to people that are only going to say sorry to her she will become just like her outlook on faith...nothing.

Happy Friend Day!

So there is a day to celebrate our moms, our dad's and our significant other...but I decided to do my own little spin on things. My best friend and I decided to celebrate our one year of being friends. I know we are absolute dorks and some ( more so men) of you are making fun of me right now in your mind. But regardless of the judgement I think it was pretty awesome we celebrated it. The official friendship day for the world is the first Sunday in August but we decided our 'anniversary' would make more sense. When we made this plan I knew EXACTLY what I was going to get her. I knew she deserved something that would make her speechless and jump up and down. As you have read before in an earlier post called "Everyone Needs a Wife" Brooke and I are extremely close. I would be lost without her and everyday I become more grateful for the friendship we share. So enough with the emotion, lets get down to business...the present. So there is one thing that I had plenty of that Brooke was lacking; Tiffanys. Every girl deserves at least one blue box in their lives and my best friend not having one just would not do. So my boyfriend and I ventured into Boston and I bought her this cute Tiffanys necklace that I knew she would love. When I gave it to her the jumping was extreme and the tears started coming. I was so happy I could make my best friend happy. Even though we show our appreciation and love for each other everyday through our friendship, it still was nice to give her something I knew she wanted and deserved. So happy friend day to one of my biggest fans and supporters through everything I do in life. I would be absolutely lost without you, as you know and I cannot wait for the years to come that will be filled with traveling and making lasting memories and ridiculous stories.

Interview with Elle Sees

I never thought that interviews would become a part of my blog because it was never a full on fashion based blog. I would only just do random pieces here and there. I am so happy though that the connections I have made have turned into getting to know the bloggers on a more personal level, creating a connection with my blog. Coming into the "blogger world" is kind of an intimidating one..at first at least. You begin to read others and figure out what exactly you yourself should write about. Elle Sees's blog was the second blog I began reading. I stumbled upon her blog when I started my first one. I loved the way she would incorporate all that goes in an everyday girls life, keeping a balance within each subject. She tells you about her life, the food she loves, the clothes she puts in her closet, and fun little DIY's. She also is someone I have found to have a lot in common with and she definitely has become one of my biggest supporters for Always Choose Paris with her comments and warm words. So I picked some random questions to get to know her a little more. I hope you enjoy, I know I did.

1. What is your favorite piece of clothing/jewelry and why?

My leather jacket I got it Italy. There's a really long story that goes along with it, but I treasure my jacket.

2. How many hours a week do you spend on your blogs

Usually 5 hours--sometimes more, sometimes less. I'm better at creating drafts for future ideas (currently have around 172 unfinished posts) than writing what needs to be done THIS week!

3. Who are you inspirations for fashion and food?

For fashion, I peruse the popular fashion blogs and celebrity style. For food, it's the local restaurants in Atlanta or my fridge. I have synesthesia so that influences just about all aspects of my life. 

4. Do you have any advice for new bloggers?

Post daily, post original awesome content.

5. What do you consider your look to be?

Casual, classic, with a focus on accessories.

6. Whats your favorite 'adventure' so far?

I love to travel--50 states and 19 countries, so that's hard to choose! I did love traveling through Europe during Christmas one year.

7. If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?

Greece, because I've never been there, or somewhere in Asia.

8. Do you free write? and if so about what?

My background is in English, but I haven't free-written in quite a while. Free writing seems to always be full of sadness and complaining, so after a sad period of where I did just that, I only want to feel positive. Blogging is as close as I'm getting to it.

9. Where do you see yourself in 3 years?

That's really hard to say! Hopefully, healthy and happy. 

10. Favorite things to blog about?

Fashion, food, and fodder

11. Do you have anyone who really motivates you to keep at your blog?

Honestly just me!  I think my family likes my blog?

12. Who is your absolute favorite person ( it can also be your animal if you have one)

My little sister, Holly. She is my heart! We are super close.

13. What items do you plan on adding to your winter wardrobe?

I acquired a trench coat from H&M for my bday. I've never had one before and I love it.

14. Where did the name of your blog come from?

My name. How original, right? I said to myself I'd start a blog if my name wasn't taken, and it wasn't. Serendipitous, I guess.





She is without a doubt an individual and I really hope you check out her blog, it is well worth it I promise! 


Her Blog

Where My Heart Is

Have you ever stepped off a plane or a boat and knew you belonged in this place, that it was meant to be more than just a vacation? The minute I arrived in Dallas, Texas I just knew that my journey for happiness would bring me here in the end. I fell in love with it's entirety. I can't exactly explain how it felt when I was in this lone-star state, but I felt like the missing pieces I lost along my way were filled with a new kind of love. For the first time in a long time I finally felt like myself and any dream I had or any wish I made could all become real. I never thought another city besides Boston could feel like home to me. I left a small town behind when I ventured to Dallas and all those insecurities and miserable thoughts I was consumed with vanished. I was in a place where no one had any idea who I used to be, what I had done, who I had dated...nothing. I had a new beginning there where I could be the person I had been striving to be. Trying to grow outside of your town is hard, especially when your reputation never leaves you despite your positive changes. Every single day I miss Dallas, wishing I could close my eyes, open them and I'd be sitting in Starbucks on Mockingbird Street with my best friend. The feeling of security I have there is irreplaceable, yet I keep trying to accomplish it here in this town. I know I need change, something I can marvel at, something that takes my breathe away... I need Dallas.